the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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