So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
