Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
