Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
