alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
