Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
