Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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