some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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