I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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