ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
