Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The feeling are messing with the penis
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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