6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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