She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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