We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
