At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
