I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
