if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So vagazzling was a success
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
