Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
