i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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