if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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