he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
