If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
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