So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize