he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
