i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
