apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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