If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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