We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
