you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
