Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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