Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
