your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
