Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
