I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
