I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
