He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
