Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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