Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
