His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
