my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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