I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
