bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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