"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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