did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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