I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
