Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
