the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
