I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
