That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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