She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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