never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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