He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
