Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
