her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Your cock deserves a montage
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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