She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
