girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
