on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
