Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
