Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
