I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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