Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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