smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
